Recently, I am having some stupid anti-social+abit unhappy syndrome. I just don't feel much like talking or smiling. That would be why you see me looking "serious" and really sad. But if I did smile, then I am really really happy. What I mean is, it's no longer like last time. Now I really laugh because I am happy, not because I felt it is politically correct to. But it has also disgraced me in public a few times, because I can't control my luaughing. People will be like, looking no, staring, at me in a strange way. I bet they must be thinking," Is that girl mad?" Or something similar. But I feel so much more free now.
Thinking, 'life doesn't have much meaning'. You see, you were born, fed, clothed, get spoiled by parents, then you make friends, quarrel with them, make up with them, share things with them(sometimes not willingly), then you study, toil, burn midnight oils, get scolded by teacher, then you go out to work, burn midnight oil again, get scolded by boss, then you marry, have children of your own, feed, clothe and spoil them like your parents used to do to you, then you grow old, retire, rely on children, have many age-related problems, then finally, you die, turns into a ghost, get reincarnated, and the cycle begins again(unless you get to go heaven or become a saint). And most people get forgotten as time passes by. So what is the meaning of it all? Why were we created? Is there any purpose for our living? It would not be to help the world. Because we have almost destroyed it. It would not be to amuse the being that created us. Because a 7.8 earthquake is not amusing at all(imagine all the sadness and despair. Not to mention the blood). It would not be to relax. Unless you can call ATC relaxing. It would not be to burn us to death. Although, recently, I feel like I'm being burnt to death no thanks to the heat(no thanks to the hole in the ozone layer). Then? Why exactly are we here, living, breathing, touching, seeing, hearing, talking?
I really feel like shouting out at the top of my lungs.
