Yo. Well I don't feel like posting, so I shall post a post explaining why I am not posting.

Schoolwork is piling up and there are tests every single week. The most unbearable thing is two or more tests happening on the same day. It has happened a few times already and I can't even get enough time to revise for one test, let alone two. It feels like a volcano. The magma's getting more and more, and when it cannot take it anymore, the volcano will finally erupt. Then the magma will come flowing down and it shall get me. Then I'm DEAD.

Then is xx xxxxxxx*censored due to privacy reasons*.How will you feel if they practically 'drift' here and there everywhere you go, and check and control(in one way or another) everything you do? There's nowhere to escape no matter how big my house is. I never get any private space for myself. They WILL always come and see what I'm doing, give a few useless(most of the time) comments, and expect me to do according to what they say. It's suffocating. Imagine being like a robot, or a maid. Doing everything you are told to, and nothing else. One wrong step you take, one small mistake and you get reprimanded and nagged at like you just caused an avalanche. I want my FREEDOM of speech/actions/privacy okay.

Then NPCC. I'm feeling stressed. NPAP is coming next week and my drills are not yet up to standard. My homads are extremely ugly and I keep hitting the rifle on the side of my head/ kicking my ankle when sedia-ing/belok-ing too slowly. Imagine if the rifles have been inserted with bayonets. Then how many huge gashes will be on my right side of my head already? I probably would have lost my hearing and half of my brain(and together with it most of my abilities, cos I am left-handed which means I use my right brain more).

And parade commanding. If I do anything wrongly I shall be too ashamed to face up to my squadmates, NCOs, ex-NCOs, ex-ex-NCOs and Sirs and Ma'ms. And that includes shouting too softly, breaking voice, sedia-ing too softly, saying the command incorrectly, and a thousand other things. Talk about feeling pressurised. I'm very scared that I will laugh. Then my life in NP will be over. I will be the greatest disgrace and I will never have the face to go NP anymore. ARGH why am I thinking of all the bad things?! Must be positive. I shall be strong. I shall conquer my fears. I shall survive it. I shall. I shall. Yep yep that sounds better. But can I do it? ARGH.

I think, saying that I'm stressed is an understatement. More like going nuts/ hyperventilating(again not much link).
Ok. So in the end I still posted. Never mind. Though I am not feeling any better, but well anyway thanks to the people who encouraged me to post.

P.S. One thing to be happy about: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood is finally showing. But I can't watch anyway, what to be excited about.;( Never mind, happy for those who can watch(lame).

So sad, cannot find the videos of Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Episode 1 cos it's coyrighted by Sony Entertainment. Never mind,at least we're entitled to listen to the song.


Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Opening


Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Ending